Ushers, Inc. by Rusty Fischer
Published: 22 June 2011
Pages: 106 (Kindle)
Genre/s: Zombie, Humour
Source: Own library
Check it Out: Goodreads ~ Amazon ~ Amazon UK
When the streets are full of bloodsuckers, werewolves, zombies and ghouls, where will you turn? The cops don’t know how to stop them, the Army’s pretty much given up and even the Marines are stumped when their bullets and grenades fail to stop the onslaught.
Have no fear, Ushers, Inc. is here! Four high school movie ushers, who collectively have seen over 42,000 hours of B- and C-horror movies know just what to do.
I love B-grade horror movies - you know the ones, where you spend most of the movie shouting ''don't go in the basement'' at the screen, or rolling your eyes whilst muttering ''yeah the pretty one dies first, EVERY time'' and there's nothing I like better than making up a whole lot of salty, buttered popcorn and curling up in my pyjamas whilst watching them.
Ushers, Inc. is written like a B-grade horror movie - and it's just as entertaining. The main character, Abby is sarcy, geeky and pretty damn clued up when it comes to vampires, zombies and werewolves - working as an usher with access to all those free movies has taught her, and her friends well.
Mr. Fischer writes a damn good, funny story and the sarcasm and one liners are fabulous:
''It smells putrid, like sixteen-day-old dumpster drool on crack''
''his massive man boobs jiggling like some x-rated theater usher peep show''
So next time you're off to fight some zombies, werewolves or vampires (or werevombies!), don't forget your roll of pennies, cheap watch battery and garlic lasso. Don't get what I mean? Read Ushers, Inc. and find out!