A few weeks ago, I saw someone mention on Twitter that they had stayed up until 4am reading a book, and then had to get up at 6am to go to work, and my first thought was 'oh man, I could NEVER do that'. And it's true - the latest I've ever stayed up reading was about 4am, and that was for a 24 hour read-a-thon.
Then of course, all those screaming blogger insecurities came into my head - I'm not DEDICATED enough, I'm not a REAL book lover, I am SHIT at this book blogging biz.
After mentally beating myself up for a while, I started thinking - exactly how much time am I investing in blogging? Am I actually as shit as my initital reaction seemed to say?
So I kept a diary of what I actually do on an average weekday to see if I could possibly be more efficient and it was pretty interesting.....
7:00am - My screaming alarm clock wakes me up, and before I even remove myself from the gorgeous cocoon of my bed, I check my emails just in case something exciting/funny/terrible happened during the hours I was sleeping.
7:10am - 7:30am - Shower, dress and make myself a tea/coffee, or in more extreme moments, mainline RedBull.
7:30am - 8:00am - Reply to any urgent exciting/fun/terrible emails, check Twitter and Facebook, make sure my scheduled blog post has gone up and go through my feedreader, book-marking everything I intend to go back and read and comment on later.
8:00am - 8:30am - Finish getting ready for work, leave house.
8:30am - 8:45am - Walk to train station whilst listening to latest audiobook.
8:45am - 9:00am - Catch train and either listen to audio, or read ebook depending on whether I find a seat or have my face unwillingly implanted in a strangers armpit whilst jammed up against train door.
9:00am - 9:15am - Walk to work whilst listening to latest audiobook.
Repeatedly throughout work day - check emails/Twitter/Facebook. Don't get a chance to read during day as I cannot hide from the peeps.
5:30pm - 6:15pm - Leave work, listening to audiobook and/or reading ebook on train and listen to audiobook during walk from station to home.
6:15pm - 7:00pm - Catch up on emails again, read other blog posts and comment, reply to own blog comments (more often than not, I neglect my own comment replying to leave other comments!).
7:00pm - 7:30pm - Do other grown-up housework things to avoid living in a hovel.
7:30pm - 7:45pm - Dinner. Attempt to talk to boyfriend because I really should do that occasionally.
7:45pm - 10:00pm - Write reviews, schedule blog posts, leave more comments, attempt to reply to own comments and get in a bit of reading if possible.
10:00pm - 11:30pm - Go to bed and read.
11:30pm - Concede defeat and sleep.
And my conclusion from all of this? I spend as much time as I possibly can reading and blogging - I need to go to work, I need to sleep and I need to do those (often boring but necessary) grown-up life things.
So I'm going to try and stop beating myself up with my insecurities - I do the best job that I possibly can without sucking the fun out of blogging and reading, and accept that I'm never going to be the person that reads 3 billion books a year, or stays up until the wee hours reading. Except on weekends - I could totally not sleep on weekends, right?!