26 July 2013

Giveaway & Guest Post: Online Dating and Time Travel by J.L. Bryan

I'm so excited to have the amazing Mr J.L. Bryan on the blog today with an awesome guest post about Online Dating and Time Travel AND for a giveaway - one ebook copy of his new book, Nomad (releasing today - cue excitement
peeps!) - check out the guest post for info on how to enter!


Online Dating: Now with Time Travel!
by J.L. Bryan

You’ve tried all of those sites—well, the ones that didn’t look too creepy—but it’s never worked out. After countless dead-end dates, you’ve begun to wonder whether anyone in the entire world was right for you.

It’s time to expand your horizons! Maybe the right person for you is out there, but living in a different century altogether! Bet you never thought of that possibility, did you? Did you? You know you didn’t, but we’ve thought of it for you!

Using our patented new UniversalLoveMatch (TM) technology, we’ll compare your values, personality, lifestyle, and adorable quirks/annoying habits to every human being who ever lived (or will live from now until Armageddon, which, it turns out, will happen in 2832, as predicted by absolutely no one, and will involve a giant squid).

Have you ever dreamed of dating a handsome, stoic cowboy, who speaks little and spends much of his time squinting into the desert sun in a really sexy way? Perhaps you long to be swept away by a charming and witty Enlightenment-Age pirate or marry a dashing Renaissance prince in a fancy jacket, while the peasants do folk dances just for you. All this can be yours, maybe!

Simply fill out our online personality test and submit your picture, email address, fingerprints, bank information, Social Security or tax identification number, DNA sample, and a copy of your handwritten signature, and we’ll find the perfect date for you!*

Using our somewhat reliable time-travel equipment, we’ll send the two of you on a dream date to any century you like. See the majesty of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, or the Sphinx when it was still new and shiny (and had the original lion head, little-known fact). Watch gross stuff like Vikings bashing each other in the heads, if you’re into that. Take a blood bath with Elizabeth Bathory if you like. Hey, no judgment! (Weirdo.)

New! Ladies’ Deluxe Package. Limited time only! Our researchers have discovered that, due to genetic engineering run amok, the 27th century has a giant surplus of handsome, rugged alpha-male types, all with great senses of humor, hearts of gold buried inside them, and amazing teeth (just amazing teeth). Act now to claim one of these heartthrobs engineered by overzealous Amazonian scientists, before they’re all married up! (Did we mention they’re all doctors?)

Whether you’re a person with a lot of money or a person with some money, we’ll help you find the man (or woman) of your dreams! Hot romance and lifelong happiness guaranteed!**

For your comment below, you might tell us what kind of historical hottie you’d like to meet? A chivalrous medieval knight? A hairy fur-trapping mountain man? Other? Just let us know for a chance to win a free ebook of Nomad!

*UniversalLoveMatch, Inc. is not responsible for any diseases contracted via time-travel dating.
**Not a guarantee.


J.L. Bryan’s book Nomad, a new adult time-travel dystopian, releases this Friday, July 26! (See it on Goodreads.)




They took everything: her family, her home, her childhood. By the age of nineteen, Raven has spent most of her life in the sprawling slums of America, fighting as a rebel against the dictatorship. When the rebellion steals an experimental time-travel device, she travels back five decades to the year 2013. Her plan: assassinate the future dictator when he is still young and vulnerable, long before he comes to power. She must move fast to reshape history, because agents from her own time are on her trail, ready to execute her on sight.

About the Author

J.L. Bryan studied English literature at the University of Georgia and at Oxford, with a focus on English Renaissance and Romantic literature. He also studied screenwriting at UCLA. He lives in the metro Atlanta sprawl with his wife Christina, where he spends most of his day serving the toddler and animal community inside his house. He is the author of the Paranormals series and the Songs of Magic series. (His book Jenny Pox is currently free on Kindle, Nook, Apple, Sony, Kobo, and Smashwords!)

2 comments:

  1. Ha! How fun. I think that I'd have to choose a dashing Duke who shares my love of reading. We can amble along beautiful tree lined paths on his estate and talk books. Hmm, sounds unlikely but I'd still like to have him. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my gosh what a fun guest post! And can I just say, a blood bath with Elizabeth Bathory is super tempting! ;) But seriously, she is creepy and one of my favorite creepy persons in history.

    But I have no idea who I would pick! A Celtic warrior? A famous author? An artist?

    ReplyDelete

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